to all the nay-sayers

Short Version: To those of you who think I look bad now, aren't you glad I no longer look like this?

Awesome Version: If someone were to write a book on Texas A&M University, the 21st century, Mullet Week 2002 would get at least 1,500 words. It was truly a week of epic proportions. An excerpt from the story would look a little something like this:

The men of the Sbisa crew decided that it was time for us to cut our long hair. They determined a far better idea would be to have mullets. So one night 11 shaggy men, accompanied by approximately 6 beauty technicians, piled in to Lauren Davis and Brittany Garner's dorm room. Each of these shameless males left the room that night with a different style of mullet. Shaved into the sides of their heads were stripes, arrows, and lightning bolts. It was a special sight to behold. As they went out that night they commenced what would come to be known as Mullet Week.

It just so happened that Mullet Week happened to coincide with Texas A&M's Howdy Week, a week devoted to feeble attempts at resurrecting the "howdy" greeting that few around here use anymore, much to the dismay of people whose great grandparents went to A&M. This happenstance worked out to the benefit of Mullet Week participators, however.

One day while enjoying their daily Sbisa lunch the newly mulleted Sbisa crew watched as six people entered the dining hall arm-in-arm, each with a large letter on their shirt that read "HOWDY!" Had they been standing in a different order their message may have been "WD!OYH". These six tradition proselytizers stood in front of the masses and yelled, "HOWDY!" to which the lunch-eating public obligatorily responded in kind.

At that very moment all of the mullet sporting men of Sbisa crew looked at each other, nodded, stood up, linked arms, and walked to the very place where the howdy crew had been standing. They stood there, arms linked, chests out, shoulders back, and they yelled passionately, "MULLET!". The response was the most authentic display of love and appreciation that Sbisa has e'er seen. Those eating their meals stopped immediately to erupt in laughter, cheering and applause. Some were even moved to the point of a standing ovation. It was a powerful, important moment in the history of Texas A&M University. Things would never again be the same.

You'd buy that book wouldn't you? Someone should write it. Of course, if I'd started my blog way back in the year 2002, then said book would in large part already be written. Sadly, that's not the case. The point I had in posting this entry (which was originally going to be a picture and a single sentence) is this: To those of you who think I look bad now, aren't you glad I no longer look like this?

I'm a sucker for musicals

Of all the videos taking up world wide web space on YouTube (and sadly GodTube... who's idea was that??), this is one that is actually worth 180 seconds of your time. I first saw it probably three years ago and fell in love. At one point I was very serious about doing at Texas A&M what these students did at their New York school. It's brilliant, it's hilarious, and it's rated PG. Enjoy.

perfection

If you've ever spoken with me for more than, oh, five minutes, then you've probably heard about my roommates from college. I love them. One of them is Colby Ivey. I love him. I'd like for my sister to marry him. He lost a farkle (paper, rock, scissors) in Colorado and had to do this. Enjoy the video. Enjoy it multiple times. I did.

freshman door... an epic

Before I get into the meat of this entry, I must define the term "freshman door" for any of my readers who aren't familiar with it. Picture a set of double doors. We all know of a pair or doors, either at a church, a school, a gym, wherever. The freshman door is the one of the two that is normally locked. It's called the freshman door because freshman try to open it. Nobody else. (I know this isn't an inerrant description, but please bear with me, we've got a ways to go).

Today Mikey asked me if I'd like to join him for a cycling class at 24 Hour Fitness, because he works there and could get me in for free. Normally I wouldn't subject myself to such torture, but I've been pretty active lately, so I figured I might as well oblige.

We walk in to the gym, Mikey shows his "I work here" card while I'm left to fill out paperwork because I answered "No" to the "have you ever been here before" question (freshman door #1). When I finish falsely filling in the blanks, the people behind the desk inform me that they won't be taking my papers, but to wait for the one who would.

Soon after a nice man whose name tag read "Mark" walked up. Mark had salesman written all over every fiber of his being, and he asked me all these questions about why I wanted to join the gym. I immediately made it very clear that I had no intentions of joining and that I was only here for a cycling class with my friend, his fellow employee. However, as I said, Mark was a salesman, so he would not be so easily deterred. He proceeded to give me a tour of the facilities, all while telling me that he knew I wasn't planning on joining, but his manager would be mad if he didn't show me around. Walking around this facility with an employee all but screams, "Hey, I'm new here, and I don't work out but I was going to start if all you people don't mind." (freshman door #2).

After the tour Mark brought me back to his desk, showed me a bunch of prices for different plans and assured me that it was only because he was supposed to. Then he threw out the big guns. In full infomercial style Mark assured me that if I signed up today, he'd knock off all kinds of fees and I'd leave with the balloon of my choice. I managed to resist his kind offers, which should have come as no surprise to him, because the first thing I said to him all day was that I wasn't joining. Thanks for trying Mark.

Finally Mikey and I enter in to the cycling (spinning) class room. Unlike the rest of the gym, this room was hot. There was no air flow, and these aren't the kind of stationary bikes that produce any. I guess those are a thing of the past. These bikes are the Spinner NXT's, pictured above. Mikey and I waste no time adjusting the height of our seats, handlebars, and cupholders.

The teacher walks in, turns off the lights and leaves only the faint blue lights burning, turns on the remixed not-so-popular hits from the 90's, and asks, "Is it anybody's first time today?" to which I raised my hand (freshman door #3). She talked us through our warm up, which includes pedaling while stretching out your upper body.

Here comes the biggest "freshman door" moment of my post-college life. As I was sitting upright, pedaling at a comfortable pace and crossing my arms in a manner unknown outside of local gyms, it happened. My seat just gave out and I was instantly moved from the J setting to what I guess was A. That's a 10 letter drop! (freshman door #4).

I, of course, bursted out with one very short, loud spurt of laughter - one that is often confused as a cry of pain, not pleasure. Everyone in the class turned a looked at me, other than the teacher whose bike was already facing me. Because of my inadequacy, she had to tell the class to keep going while she stopped, got off her bike, and came to make sure I was okay. Keep in mind, there are probably 4 boys and 20 girls in this class... She politely showed me how to properly adjust (and tighten!) my seat, and proceeded to indirectly kick my butt for the rest of the hour. I walked out of that room sweating like a fat kid, my face as red as it used to be during my rings routines.

In closing, I'd like to thank 24 Hour Fitness for facilitating my afternoon of healthy humiliation, and I'd really like to thank you guys for reading this, the very long first chapter of my book about how to laugh at yourself.

a real ninja bear

The bear you see before you was used in a classroom prank earlier this week at Texas A&M University. I'm forced to spare you any and all details at this point in time, but suffice it to say that the ever-popular stories of pirates hating ninjas, no matter how unfunny I used to think them, rang true in Civil Engineering 110. You see, I was fortunate enough to be in the right place at the right time with a video camera at the moment when said prank was pulled. I'm in the process of finding a website on which I can host this 11.6MB video... if anyone has suggestions, send them my way. In the mean time, keep your eyes peeled for both a link to the video on this blog, and for pirates on campus.

don't give up the fight

Thank you Justus for this powerful display of protest which you set up outside the MSC here at Texas A&M. The man has been trying to rid the campus of bikers for years, and it's good to see that someone else is willing to stand up for their rights. Give us liberty of give us death!

back in the ussa

well after many hours on airplanes and in airports, I made it back to the States with all my bags and body parts. And just when you thought the stories from the trip would be over, something happened on the plane that I really do think everyone will enjoy...

(excerpt from D.O.'s journal 7.03.05) "The setting: about 5 hours in to the flight from Tokyo to DFW, the plane's cabin is dark and quiet as most people are sleeping or wishing they could. The story: Jon reaches into the overhead compartment to fetch Emily's backpack so she could take her medicine. I asked Jon to 'accidentally' drop the medicine on the floor a few rows back so we could see what the man back there was watching that demanded so much of his laughter. In the process of trying to grab the backpack and simultaneously discover what movie was spawning the mystery man's outbursts, Jon pulled the pack a bit too hard and at the entirely wrong angle, causing a complete Majiang set to come plummeting to the airplane floor with a crash nearly as intense as the waiter-in-training dropping everyone's glasses of iced tea at Black Eyed Pea. This obviously paved the way for me to laugh unacceptably loud with my obnoxious outbursts, and this calamity caused all the formerly happy, peaceful, sleeping passengers to turn and glare with much disdain in their eyes. I don't even think the laughing man 2 rows back laughed. And we still don't know what he was watching."

Now that the light-hearted story is out of the way, on to the serious stuff. I sincerely thank everyone of you who have visited this site and lifted me and my team up over the past few weeks. I'm so blessed to know you guys. And the answer to the question nobody's asking (is this the end for D.O.'s blog?) is, no, probably not. I'm sure I'll keep posting stuff up on this, though likely way less frequently, and I have no idea what kind of things I'll be posting. If you stay tuned it's probable that I'll post pictures from my trip, or at least post a link to a website that I'll post my pictures on. Other than that, it's anybody's guess. Thank you guys again, God bless! (I'm back in the States where we can say stuff like that!)