red carpet at the barber shop

I know I said in the previous post that it would be the last one for a while, but we actually aren't heading out til tomorrow, and something amazing happened today, so I had to post one last time. We also found this really nice internet place that's ten times bigger than the old one, and way nicer... and same price (0.25 US Dollars/ hour)! Yeah, things are certainly cheaper here, as I will illustrate in the story you are about to read.

After waking up late on Monday morning and going to the "fried rice lady" on the corner for some (of course) fried rice, Jon, T-Burk, and I decided we were feeling a haircut. We happened to be eating our fried rice on the steps in front of a barber shop, so we went in, told them what we wanted, and let them do their thing. We let them know that we wanted the cheapest shampoo (prices of haircuts here depend on the shampoo you get), and the cheapest haircut they had. Here is what the bottom of the line haircut entailed:

They start by sitting you down and shampooing your hair, but not in a sink, they just pour the exact amount of water on your head, throw in some shampoo, and go to town with the lathering. It was pretty normal until ol' girl started thumping my head as a part of the lathering process. Then, and this really caught me off guard, she started shampooing my ears, and this was no mistake, no slip of the hand, she went to town shampooing my ears as if they were as hairy as some 80 year old man's. She proceeded to basically just massage my head with the shampoo still there, and about 15 minutes after I sat down, I was instructed to walk over to the corner where the shampoo was to be rinsed off. I'm certain my hair has never been this clean before. After the rinse off, which also included some ear massaging, I was told to go back to the chair I started in. She started going for the shampoo bottle again, and I thought, surely not... and I was right.

Instead, she started massaging my head/ neck for a short while, until she abruptly reclined my chair, turned my head to the side, and made me cough. Just kidding. She turned my head to the side and started going to town with the Q-tips in my ear. After that whole process was over, I was certain that my ears had never been so clean before. She went on and started massaging the upper half of my upper body (chest up). She would beat on my chest like Tarzan would beat on his own, and she did all kinds of stuff I don't even remember... it was a lot to take in. She then took my arms one at a time and massaged the mess out of them, including popping fingers and more punching. That part was pretty nice. She finally returned my seat to the upright position, and then she massaged my shoulders and neck some more, and my back to boot. I started to worry that they weren't actually giving me what I asked for, I thought surely this isn't all included in the cheapest haircut, seeing how we had been there for an hour now (no exaggeration), and not a single hair had been cut. So, after 15 minutes of shampooing, and 45 minutes of massaging, I was finally moved to the chair where people's hairs get cut.

I was transferred to a bro in a pink shirt with dyed hair and orange glasses, who sang quietly beneath his breath has he cut my hair. Keep in mind, (or I guess for those who don't know) my head is shaved. I just wanted it shaved again because it was starting to get a little long. Apparently in China, they do not have the different guards on hair clippers that we have in the States. So what happened you ask? Well bro used a comb in between the scalp and the clippers with the precision of a professional table tennis player (also a huge thing here in China). Finally, about 20 minutes later, my head was shaved. My head shave took longer than both Jon and T-Burk's normal hair cuts. I thought that was funny. But not nearly as funny or enjoyable as the entire experience was. Oh, all the while, American hits such as "I Will Be Right Here Waiting For You", "My Heart Will Go On", "Candle in the Wind", and others were being played while bro was clipping on my hair. He must have not known the words to these songs, so I sang in his stead. All the while people's heads turned and eyes fixed on the foreigner who looks like soccer star David Beckham (he's like a superstar here, and I hadn't even heard of him in the States, but everyone tells me I look like him).

After paying (I'll tell you the grand total in a bit), we went outside on the steps we ate lunch on, along with everyone who was involved in any of our haircuts (about 7 employees total), for a photo. The girls faithfully held up their peace signs as the guys probably tried (successfully) to act cool. And now for the moment everyone is waiting for. How much did your awesome haircut experience put you back D.O.? The grand total was 10 kuai, which is equivalent to approximately $1.25 USD. This place is wonderful.

Alright, thanks for bearing with me on that story. I know it was long, but I thought it was really delightful, and I thought you might enjoy it too. For real this time, until next weekend.